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BillMaher
Los Angeles, CA, US
Joined: Feb '11

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Level 13: Wacky Sidekick
Next Level: Saturday Sketcher
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BillMaher's kwips: 141
Lindsay Lohan to Pose Nude in Playboy for $1 Million
NY Daily News
Lindsay Lohan may be taking it all off for Playboy. The one-time child star reportedly scored a $1 million payday to pose nude for the famed skin magazine. TMZ claims the 25-year-old flashed her flesh for the cameras at a photo shoot last weekend. 10/25/11 4:17pm ET
BillMaher
New rule: the folks at Playboy must admit they got swindled into paying a million dollars to see Lindsay Lohan naked when they could've just bought her a drink.
10/30/11 10:56pm ET
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Parents Decry New Tattooed Barbie
Time NewsFeed
Concerned parents are complaining about a new $50 limited edition Barbie created by the Italian-based, Japanese-inspired brand Tokidoki. The new edgy Barbie has a pink bob hairstyle, punk clothing, and tattoos running down her arm and around her collarbone. 10/25/11 4:47pm ET
BillMaher
Not to be a traditionalist, but can't we just let Barbie be Barbie? An anorexic gold-digger with huge plastic tits?
10/30/11 10:56pm ET
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Parents Decry New Tattooed Barbie
Time NewsFeed
Concerned parents are complaining about a new $50 limited edition Barbie created by the Italian-based, Japanese-inspired brand Tokidoki. The new edgy Barbie has a pink bob hairstyle, punk clothing, and tattoos running down her arm and around her collarbone. 10/25/11 4:47pm ET
BillMaher
New rule: now that Mattel has released their totally stylin' tattooed Barbie with pink hair, they also have to release an I Cut Myself Barbie with a pierced labia and a lip sore.
10/30/11 10:55pm ET
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Quran-Burning Pastor Running for President
ABC News
Pastor Terry Jones, the man who infamously burned a copy of the Quran in honor of 9/11, is throwing his hat into the 2012 presidential race. His campaign, Stand Up America Now, features a seven point platform, including deporting all ''illegals'', bringing all military back home until America's finances are in order, and reducing corporate taxes. 10/27/11 2:54pm ET
BillMaher
You know what his platform is? Deporting every undocumented worker in America and imprisoning women who have abortions. Finally, the Republicans have a moderate in the race.
10/30/11 10:55pm ET
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Libyan Rebels Kill Moammar Gadhafi
The New York Times
Col. Moammar Gadahfi, the former Libyan strongman who fled into hiding after rebels toppled his regime two months ago, was killed today as fighters battling the vestiges of his loyalist forces wrested control of his hometown of Surt, the interim government said. 10/20/11 2:12pm ET
BillMaher
They say that now he's dead and Michael Jackson is gone, we have enough over-the-top military uniforms to outfit an entire gay army.
10/24/11 11:21pm ET
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Libyan Rebels Kill Moammar Gadhafi
The New York Times
Col. Moammar Gadahfi, the former Libyan strongman who fled into hiding after rebels toppled his regime two months ago, was killed today as fighters battling the vestiges of his loyalist forces wrested control of his hometown of Surt, the interim government said. 10/20/11 2:12pm ET
BillMaher
You see those pictures of Gadhafi? Grizzly. Very hard to look at. But then again, he was hard to look at when he was alive.
10/24/11 11:21pm ET
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Libyan Rebels Kill Moammar Gadhafi
The New York Times
Col. Moammar Gadahfi, the former Libyan strongman who fled into hiding after rebels toppled his regime two months ago, was killed today as fighters battling the vestiges of his loyalist forces wrested control of his hometown of Surt, the interim government said. 10/20/11 2:12pm ET
BillMaher
Boy, I tell ya', these Arab dictators are not very original. Just like Saddam Hussein, they caught him in a hole. He was in a hole with a gun and luggage. Or as it's known here, the middle class.
10/24/11 11:21pm ET
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Libyan Rebels Kill Moammar Gadhafi
The New York Times
Col. Moammar Gadahfi, the former Libyan strongman who fled into hiding after rebels toppled his regime two months ago, was killed today as fighters battling the vestiges of his loyalist forces wrested control of his hometown of Surt, the interim government said. 10/20/11 2:12pm ET
BillMaher
Our bad-ass ninja black president did it again. So far this year he killed Somali pirates, bin Laden, al-Awlaki, Gadhafi. The only threat to our way of life now is from Bank of America.
10/24/11 11:21pm ET
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Adventurous Couple Has Sex While Skydiving (NSFW)
BuzzFeed
A pair of coworkers at Skydive Taft in Bakersfield, CA -- he a skydiving instructor/porn actor, she the company's receptionist -- decided to film themselves having sex while skydiving in an attempt to get Howard Stern's attention. The instructor, Alex Torres, has been fired by the company, and the fate of the receptionist, Hope Howell, is still up in the air. (NSFW) 10/17/11 3:11pm ET
BillMaher
Just read story of skydiving couple fucking in the air! I thought I had some wild days! They would've tried anal but her chute wouldn't open.
10/18/11 9:15pm ET
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Hallmark Selling Sympathy Cards for Unemployed
Mediaite
Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still a few days of the year that haven't been classified as holidays. To help fill that void, Hallmark is releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off. 9/28/11 6:18pm ET
BillMaher
"You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it... people will pay you for sex."
10/11/11 1:37am ET
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Hallmark Selling Sympathy Cards for Unemployed
Mediaite
Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still a few days of the year that haven't been classified as holidays. To help fill that void, Hallmark is releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off. 9/28/11 6:18pm ET
BillMaher
"You know what they say: When the cat's away... you can help yourself to his food."
10/11/11 1:37am ET
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Hallmark Selling Sympathy Cards for Unemployed
Mediaite
Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still a few days of the year that haven't been classified as holidays. To help fill that void, Hallmark is releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off. 9/28/11 6:18pm ET
BillMaher
"I bet right about now... you're rethinking your stupid 'don't fuck the boss' policy."
10/11/11 1:37am ET
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Hallmark Selling Sympathy Cards for Unemployed
Mediaite
Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still a few days of the year that haven't been classified as holidays. To help fill that void, Hallmark is releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off. 9/28/11 6:18pm ET
BillMaher
"I would have sent an eCard... but I assume you can no longer afford internet."
10/11/11 1:36am ET
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Hallmark Selling Sympathy Cards for Unemployed
Mediaite
Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still a few days of the year that haven't been classified as holidays. To help fill that void, Hallmark is releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off. 9/28/11 6:18pm ET
BillMaher
"Hey, look on the bright side... you don't have to buy gas for a shopping cart."
10/11/11 1:36am ET
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ESPN Drops Hank Williams Jr. After Hitler Remark
USA Today
ESPN dropped Hank Williams Jr. from opening Monday Night Football last night after he likened the golf summit between President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner to ''Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu,'' in that Obama and Vice President Biden are ''the enemy.'' Williams now says his comments were ''misunderstood.'' 10/4/11 1:07pm ET
BillMaher
If you're missing Hank Williams Jr., you will still be able to hear his music wherever women are assaulted on pool tables.
10/11/11 1:36am ET
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ESPN Drops Hank Williams Jr. After Hitler Remark
USA Today
ESPN dropped Hank Williams Jr. from opening Monday Night Football last night after he likened the golf summit between President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner to ''Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu,'' in that Obama and Vice President Biden are ''the enemy.'' Williams now says his comments were ''misunderstood.'' 10/4/11 1:07pm ET
BillMaher
If we're going to fire every southern hillbilly who thinks Obama is like Hitler, who will be our Republican congressmen? Who will work at our waffle houses? Who will hunt at our Niggerhead ranches?
10/11/11 1:35am ET
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ESPN Drops Hank Williams Jr. After Hitler Remark
USA Today
ESPN dropped Hank Williams Jr. from opening Monday Night Football last night after he likened the golf summit between President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner to ''Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu,'' in that Obama and Vice President Biden are ''the enemy.'' Williams now says his comments were ''misunderstood.'' 10/4/11 1:07pm ET
BillMaher
His crime was comparing Obama to Hitler on Fox News. Or as that used to be called: The Glenn Beck Show.
10/11/11 1:35am ET
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Perry Family Owned Hunting Camp Known as 'Niggerhead'
The Washington Post
In the early years of his political career, Rick Perry began hosting fellow lawmakers, friends, and supporters at his family's secluded West Texas hunting camp, a place known by the name ''Niggerhead,'' which was painted on a rock at the entrance. 10/3/11 1:23pm ET
BillMaher
Republicans say this shouldn't be an issue at all. Although wait till they find out that Obama owns a townhouse in Chicago called Honkeyfoot.
10/11/11 1:34am ET
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Sarah Palin Will Not Run for President
CNN
In a written statement, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin said today: ''After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.'' 10/5/11 7:07pm ET
BillMaher
I of course am of two minds about this. As an American, I thank you Sarah. As a comedian, I beg you to reconsider.
10/11/11 1:33am ET
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Sarah Palin Will Not Run for President
CNN
In a written statement, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin said today: ''After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.'' 10/5/11 7:07pm ET
BillMaher
Very sadly, two days ago, the Great White Dope Sarah Palin said she would not enter the race.
10/11/11 1:33am ET
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