Follow:
For our favorite kwips of the day, follow us on Facebook.
To get the jump on new stories we post, follow us on Twitter.
To get the jump on new stories we post, add our RSS feed.
Bookmark Us
Firefox and Internet Explorer users, click your icon below to add us:
Chrome and Safari users, drag your icon below to your bookmark bar:
Kwipster.comKwipster.com
Image 01 Image 02
Find:

Report Abuse
DanSnierson
New York, NY, US
Joined: Mar '11

Pages
EW.com
Twitter
Facebook
Open Miker
Level 2: Open Miker
Next Level: Amusing Blogger
  Kwips Points Average
All Time 25 26.33 1.05
Year 0 0.00 0.00
Month 0 0.00 0.00
Week 0 0.00 0.00
Day 0 0.00 0.00
Note: Only kwips that have received the required qualifying ratings are reflected above. For more on scoring, click here.
DanSnierson's kwips: 29
MC Hammer Launches New Search Engine 'WireDoo'
Gawker
Rapper, preacher, and bankruptcy-court mainstay MC Hammer has just launched a new search engine called WireDoo. The artist-turned-entrepreneur says WireDoo goes ''beyond just the keywords'' into ''relationship search'' and ''deep search.'' 10/19/11 6:59pm ET
DanSnierson
One problem with the beta version: when you try to exit the site after it freezes, it claims it's "too legit to force quit."
10/30/11 10:56pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Andy Rooney Stepping Down from '60 Minutes'
CBS News
This Sunday's '60 Minutes' will be Andy Rooney's last regular appearance on the broadcast. Rooney (92) has been featured on the show since 1978. He'll make the announcement in his regular essay (his 1097th) at the end of the program, which will be preceded by a segment in which Rooney looks back on his career in an interview with Morley Safer. 9/28/11 6:07pm ET
DanSnierson
92-year-old Andy Rooney signs off from '60 Minutes.' They had a viewing party at his house, which was highlighted by 60 additional minutes of him yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn.
10/17/11 1:21am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Holly Madison Insures Breasts for $1,000,000
People
Vegas 'Peepshow' star Holly Madison has taken out a $1 million insurance policy on her breasts with Lloyd's of London. Madison (31) said, ''If anything happened to my boobs, I'd be out for a few months and I'd probably be out a million dollars. I thought I'd cover my assets.'' 9/29/11 7:49pm ET
DanSnierson
Holly Madison takes out $1 million insurance policy on her breasts. It covers her in the event of an extreme motorboating accident.
10/17/11 1:21am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
'L Word' Star Booted Off Plane After Kissing Girlfriend
Reuters
'The L Word' star Leisha Hailey says she and a girlfriend were kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight in a dispute over them kissing on the plane. Hailey, 40, tweeted that a flight attendant had told her that Southwest ''was a 'family' airline and kissing was not ok,'' and that she and her companion were then ''escorted off the plane for getting upset.'' 9/27/11 7:30pm ET
DanSnierson
The airline knew it had a problem when passengers noticed Billie Joe Armstrong's pants becoming less saggy.
10/3/11 1:36am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 2.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Maggie Gyllenhaal Shares Vibrators With Friends
Gawker
Maggie Gyllenhaal, who stars in the new film 'Hysteria' about the invention of the vibrator, has been quoted as saying, ''By the time I finished the movie I'd been sent maybe 15 vibrators.... So I have this incredible collection, and I actually use like one or two of them. I lend them to my friends, and they'll take them for six months at a time.'' 9/23/11 12:22pm ET
DanSnierson
The director of 'Hysteria' gave the cast and crew vibrators on the first day of shooting as a gag. That's pretty cool! All anyone got on day 1 of making Def Leppard's 'Hysteria' was an STD.
10/3/11 1:36am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Scarlett Johansson Nude Pictures Leaked (NSFW)
BuzzFeed
If your Internet connection seems slow today, it's probably because the entire world is downloading (alleged) photos of Scarlett Johansson naked, which are believed to have been lifted by someone who hacked into her cell phone. [NSFW] 9/14/11 2:06pm ET
DanSnierson
The hacker has been placed on both the FBI's Most Wanted and Most Congratulated lists.
10/3/11 1:35am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Man Breaks Into Celine Dion's Home to Take Bath
CBS News / AP
In what sounds like a real life version of ''Goldilocks and the Three Bears,'' police say a man named Daniel Bedard broke into singer Celine Dion's sprawling home in the Montreal suburb of Laval, ate pastries from the fridge, and even took the time to run himself a bath. 9/7/11 6:24pm ET
DanSnierson
Let's get this sicko off the streets before he does something really demented, like break into Kenny G's house and rearrange his reed collection.
9/20/11 2:22am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 2.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Julia Roberts Makeup Ad Banned For Being 'Misleading'
Nerve
UK ad police have banned a L'Oreal makeup ad (shown) featuring Julia Roberts, claiming that her seemingly pore-less, flawless skin was ''not representative of the results the products could achieve,'' which makes the ads ''misleading'' and potentially harmful to girls age 16-21. 7/28/11 2:22pm ET
DanSnierson
And yet still no investigation of 'Larry Crowne'?
9/13/11 5:49pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Alex Trebek Chases Down Burglar
The New York Times
Early yesterday morning at a hotel in San Francisco, 'Jeopardy!' host Alex Trebek chased after a burglar who broke into his room and tried to steal cash and other items from him. The suspect, a 56-year-old woman, was arrested and charged with felony burglary and possession. 7/28/11 1:12pm ET
DanSnierson
No thanks to Watson, who just stood idly by, processing the whole thing. Supercomputer, my ass!
9/13/11 5:48pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Blue Horseshoe Loves 'Jersey Shore'
CNNMoney
In the first trading session after Abercrombie & Fitch offered 'Jersey Shore' star Michael ''The Situation'' Sorrentino and other members of the hit MTV show ''substantial payment'' if they stopped wearing Abercrombie-branded clothes, the company's shares fell almost 9%. 8/17/11 4:02pm ET
DanSnierson
In related news, J.Crew and J-Woww have no business to attend to.
9/13/11 5:47pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
S&P Drops U.S. Credit Rating from AAA, May Cut Again
Newser
Standard & Poor's has downgraded America's AAA credit rating for the first time ever, dropping the U.S. one notch to AA+ and sending global markets tumbling. The leading credit rating agency also warned that another downgrade could be on the way if the country's debt to GDP ratio continues to rise and its hyper-partisan politics continue to reign. 8/8/11 1:18pm ET
DanSnierson
SNL readies depressing new character: Debty Downer.
9/13/11 5:46pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Mark and Donnie Wahlberg to Open 'Wahlburgers'
Vulture
Famous Southie siblings Mark and Donnie Wahlberg have opened several successful restaurants in Boston, and next up is a burger joint called, what else: Wahlburgers. The restaurant will seat 120 people and its chef will be be Paul Wahlberg, their older brother. 8/25/11 8:54pm ET
DanSnierson
We're much more excited for "Spielburgers," where the food is tasty and beautifully lit, or even "Soderburgers," where the beef never tastes the same and the chef keeps threatening to retire.
9/13/11 5:45pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Zach Braff's Website Hacked, Turns Him Gay
TMZ
Sad scrub Zach Braff is coming out and clarifying that he's not gay, after a hacker posted a fake statement to the contrary on the star's long-dormant website this morning. 7/20/11 9:01pm ET
DanSnierson
The 'Scrubs' star denied he's gay. But he did look up dreamily to the sky and play out a fabulous fantasy sequence in his head before shaking it off.
8/2/11 1:46pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Drunk Actor Breaks Into David Letterman's Studio
Gothamist
Yesterday morning, a drunk, out-of-work actor shattered the glass doors of the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, entered the lobby and flipped over trash cans, making a mess of the home of David Letterman's Late Show. Police responded to a 911 call around 7 a.m. and arrested 22-year-old James Whittemore, who had a cut on his face and was later taken to the hospital. 7/11/11 8:30am ET
DanSnierson
Jay Leno insists that he had an airtight alibi -- he was "Jaywalking" at the time. When he offered to show the police the footage, they interrupted, "No! Please! We'll totally take your word for it!"
8/2/11 1:42pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.67 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Charlie Sheen To Be Roasted on Comedy Central
TMZ
Charlie Sheen has been chosen as the 'roastee' at the next Comedy Central Roast in September. The Roast will be taped on September 10 and will air on September 19 -- which is, not coincidentally, the same night the revamped 'Two and a Half Men' is set to premiere. 7/5/11 1:26pm ET
DanSnierson
It's a rerun, right?
7/19/11 1:37pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Stephen Hawking: Heaven is a Fairy Tale
The Guardian
World renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking thinks you're stupid. If you believe in heaven, that is. In an interview with The Guardian, Hawking said that heaven is a ''fairy story'' for people who are afraid of dying. He believes there is nothing beyond death. 5/16/11 4:10pm ET
DanSnierson
(On Kirk Cameron ripping Stephen Hawking for his statement) Choose a side, America: World-famous theoretical physicist or...Mike Seaver?
6/6/11 8:26pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Porn Collection Found in Bin Laden Compound
Gothamist
Officials have found a 'fairly extensive' collection of pornography in Osama bin Laden's former hideout, including videos. They also said porn is common among Islamic militants. 5/13/11 2:08pm ET
DanSnierson
"We were hoping to catch him with his pants down," says U.S. military rep. "But, um, not like that."
5/22/11 8:55pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Vin Diesel Thinks 'Fast Five' Deserves an Oscar
A.V. Club
Vin Diesel, the star of the latest sequel in the 'Fast and Furious' car-related crime franchise, is probably clearing his schedule for awards season. In an interview with the L.A. Times regarding 'Fast Five', Diesel said, ''I wouldn't be surprised if there is some Oscar talk around this.'' 5/11/11 11:26am ET
DanSnierson
Vin Diesel on 'Fast Five': "I woudn't be surprised if there is some Oscar talk." And it'll go: "Hey, fellow voter! Isn't it cute how Vin Diesel things we're giving 'Fast Five' an Oscar nomination?"
5/22/11 8:55pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.33 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Air Traffic Controller Suspended for Watching Movie
NY Daily News
An Ohio air traffic controller has been suspended for watching the Samuel L. Jackson movie "Cleaner" while on duty. He was caught because his microphone broadcast the movie's soundtrack over the radio frequency for the airspace. 4/19/11 5:19pm ET
DanSnierson
I'm outraged! 'Snakes on a Plane' was clearly the more appropriate choice!
4/30/11 2:37am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: not yet available
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Florence Mayor Sets Rules for 'Jersey Shore' in Italy
New York Post
Florence Mayor Matteo Renzi has set strict rules for the upcoming filming of 'Jersey Shore' in his city. Among them: the cast cannot be filmed in bars and clubs that serve alcohol, nor may they be filmed drinking in public; the show cannot promote Florence as a drinking town or film in any of its historic buildings; and more... [RULES] 4/20/11 12:53pm ET
DanSnierson
Sighed the mayors of Seaside Heights and Miami: "Seriously? That was an option?"
4/30/11 2:36am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: not yet available
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
 
Top Kwipsters
1) Wacky Sidekick StanSilliman (+2,004.37)
2) Cable Quipster headonthetable (+1,194.15)
3) Sharp-Witted Scribe ADW (+888.28)
4) Sharp-Witted Scribe AaronDavidWard (+757.88)
5) Sitcom Superstar hambone (+713.91)
6) Hall Headliner jerrymyers1982 (+673.65)
7) Sitcom Superstar humbert (+593.05)
8) Award Show Host NaomiLeonard (+564.72)
9) Wacky Sidekick JayLeno (+550.25)
10) Vegas Icon fancypants (+543.23)
Ranked by total points earned. Details.
Free Comedy Shows
Kwipster TM & © 2014 Viral Ventures LLC. All Rights Reserved.