Follow:
For our favorite kwips of the day, follow us on Facebook.
To get the jump on new stories we post, follow us on Twitter.
To get the jump on new stories we post, add our RSS feed.
Bookmark Us
Firefox and Internet Explorer users, click your icon below to add us:
Chrome and Safari users, drag your icon below to your bookmark bar:
Kwipster.comKwipster.com
Image 01 Image 02
Find:

Report Abuse
fancypants
Joined: Feb '11
Vegas Icon
Level 17: Vegas Icon
Next Level: Sitcom Superstar
  Kwips Points Average
All Time 310 543.40 1.75
Year 0 0.00 0.00
Month 0 0.00 0.00
Week 0 0.00 0.00
Day 0 0.00 0.00
Note: Only kwips that have received the required qualifying ratings are reflected above. For more on scoring, click here.
fancypants' kwips: 311
Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
fancypants
Too bad. Kwipster was the best collection of amateur comedy since the Jay Leno show.
1/23/12 6:18pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
'The Advocate' Names Gayest Cities in America
The Advocate
'The Advocate' has released its 3rd annual ranking of the gayest cities in America. Salt Lake City was named the gayest, followed by Orlando, Cambridge (MA), Ft. Lauderdale, Seattle, Ann Arbor, Minneapolis / St. Paul, Knoxville, Atlanta, and Grand Rapids. [FULL LIST] 1/9/12 6:40pm ET
fancypants
Salt Lake City? Guess that's what happens when you've got six wives nagging you all the time.
1/9/12 7:18pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
'The Advocate' Names Gayest Cities in America
The Advocate
'The Advocate' has released its 3rd annual ranking of the gayest cities in America. Salt Lake City was named the gayest, followed by Orlando, Cambridge (MA), Ft. Lauderdale, Seattle, Ann Arbor, Minneapolis / St. Paul, Knoxville, Atlanta, and Grand Rapids. [FULL LIST] 1/9/12 6:40pm ET
fancypants
No wonder those Mormons are always so handsome.
1/9/12 6:44pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
New Crab Species Dubbed 'The Hoff'
BBC News
British scientists have found prodigious numbers of a new species of crab on the Southern Ocean floor that they have dubbed ''The Hoff'' because of its hairy chest, in honor of the often bare-chested American actor David Hasselhoff. 1/4/12 1:58pm ET
fancypants
The crabs are expected to be huge in Germany.
1/4/12 2:06pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Alec Baldwin Rules Out Run for Mayor of NYC
NY Daily News
Alec Baldwin is abandoning his much-discussed plans to run for mayor of New York City in 2013. ''I've lost my appetite,'' said Baldwin on his podcast, adding that the other mayoral candidates' naked ambition turned him off. ''They're all just so horny for it.'' 12/22/11 4:07pm ET
fancypants
Good. 9/11 was bad enough.
12/22/11 4:41pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
'Transformers' Most Mistake-Ridden Movie of Year
Starpulse
'Transformers: Dark Of The Moon' has been named the most mistake-ridden movie of 2011, with eagle-eyed film fans reporting a total of 58 blunders to MovieMistakes.com. The runners-up were 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' (52), 'X-Men: First Class' (30), 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2' (20), and 'Super 8' (17). 12/22/11 4:26pm ET
fancypants
Quick, name 5 movies where you're most likely to encounter middle-aged men in rain coats.
12/22/11 4:39pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Rick Perry Doesn't Know Kim Jong-Il's Name
ThinkProgress
In an email regarding the death of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, Rick Perry mistakenly referred to the despot as Kim Jong the Second. The email titled ''Gov. Rick Perry on the Death of Kim Jong II'' incorrectly referenced the dictator's name 3 separate times. 12/20/11 3:14pm ET
fancypants
If only we were so lucky about Rick Perry's.
12/20/11 3:59pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
1 in 3 Americans Arrested by Age 23
NPR
There's been a sharp increase in recent decades in the number of young Americans who report they've been arrested at least once. While in the mid-1960s about 22% of Americans reported having been arrested by the time they turned 23, researchers estimate that the 'prevalence rate' for arrests by that age now lies ''between 30.2% and 41.4%.'' 12/20/11 2:26pm ET
fancypants
The prevalence rate now lies between 30.2% and 41.4%, depending on whether you include Lohans.
12/20/11 3:59pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Record Number of Americans Unmarried
LiveScience
A new analysis of 2010 Census data finds that only 51% of American adults are currently married, a record low for the country. The median age at first marriage is also older than ever for both men and women, at 26.5 for women and 28.7 for men. 12/14/11 10:52am ET
fancypants
*Note: Gays not included
12/14/11 11:08am ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Smoking Makes Nipples Fall Off
CNN
Smokers who undergo breast lifts are at great risk of losing their nipples. The nicotine in cigarettes and the carbon monoxide contained in cigarette smoke can diminish blood flow to various parts of the body, acting as a virtual tourniquet, which can cause a woman's nipples to blacken, die, and fall off during the post-op healing process. 12/7/11 4:18pm ET
fancypants
I don't think this is limited to nipples. I've met a few guys who appear to have lost other parts.
12/7/11 4:35pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 3.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Smoking Makes Nipples Fall Off
CNN
Smokers who undergo breast lifts are at great risk of losing their nipples. The nicotine in cigarettes and the carbon monoxide contained in cigarette smoke can diminish blood flow to various parts of the body, acting as a virtual tourniquet, which can cause a woman's nipples to blacken, die, and fall off during the post-op healing process. 12/7/11 4:18pm ET
fancypants
For any questions, please call 1-800-LINDSAY.
12/7/11 4:34pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Britney Spears Gives Fan a Lap Dance
Celebuzz
Britney Spears gave a special fan the time of his life at Foro Sol in Mexico City this past weekend. The scantily clad songstress performed a sensual lap dance for the lucky gentleman -- serenading him as she wrapped her legs around his neck. [PHOTOS] 12/6/11 6:51pm ET
fancypants
As surprised as the fan was, he wasn't nearly as surprised as Britney was to find a straight man in the crowd.
12/6/11 9:22pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Britney Spears Gives Fan a Lap Dance
Celebuzz
Britney Spears gave a special fan the time of his life at Foro Sol in Mexico City this past weekend. The scantily clad songstress performed a sensual lap dance for the lucky gentleman -- serenading him as she wrapped her legs around his neck. [PHOTOS] 12/6/11 6:51pm ET
fancypants
Nice to see she's already training for her next career.
12/6/11 9:17pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Tiger Woods Wins First Tournament Since Scandal
The Washington Post
Tiger Woods has won his first tournament since his 2009 sex scandal, breaking a 2-year winless streak at the Chevron World Challenge with a clutch birdie on the 18th hole. 12/5/11 3:20pm ET
fancypants
Some say the odds were stacked in his favor. Others say the same thing in a slightly different way.
12/5/11 3:57pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Personality Can Be Judged By Smell
NY Daily News
According to new study, people can make accurate judgments about another person's personality based on the way he or she smells. In the study, Polish researchers asked raters to sniff white-cotton T-shirts that were worn for 3 straight nights by 100 men and 100 women, then asked them to make assessments about the wearers' personalities. 12/5/11 3:47pm ET
fancypants
The study will be published in an upcoming issue of Cat Fancy.
12/5/11 3:55pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Personality Can Be Judged By Smell
NY Daily News
According to new study, people can make accurate judgments about another person's personality based on the way he or she smells. In the study, Polish researchers asked raters to sniff white-cotton T-shirts that were worn for 3 straight nights by 100 men and 100 women, then asked them to make assessments about the wearers' personalities. 12/5/11 3:47pm ET
fancypants
Question #1: do you think this man beats his wife?
12/5/11 3:53pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Men Think About Sex 19 Times Per Day
Gawker
According to a new study by researchers at Ohio State University, men do not think about sex once every seven seconds, just once every 50 minutes -- or about 19 times a day (excluding sleep). By contrast, women think about sex an average of 10 times a day. 11/28/11 3:33pm ET
fancypants
Women would be able to to think about it as often as men if they didn't have to add in all the foreplay.
11/28/11 4:32pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Men Think About Sex 19 Times Per Day
Gawker
According to a new study by researchers at Ohio State University, men do not think about sex once every seven seconds, just once every 50 minutes -- or about 19 times a day (excluding sleep). By contrast, women think about sex an average of 10 times a day. 11/28/11 3:33pm ET
fancypants
The researchers were able to calculate the number by recording how many times each guy said, "Huh? What?"
11/28/11 4:31pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 5.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Barney Frank to Retire from Congress
Newser
Barney Frank (D-MA), the first openly gay member of Congress, has said he will not run for reelection next year. Frank has $760,000 in his campaign coffers, but said he'd need a few million more to compete in his newly redrawn district, which lost the working-class city of New Bedford and gained several conservative towns. 11/28/11 4:07pm ET
fancypants
House Democrats say this leaves a big hole in the party.
11/28/11 4:23pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.5 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
Most Expensive Photo Ever Sells for $4.4 Million
Death + Taxes
Andreas Gursky's 'Rhine II' became the most expensive photograph ever taken when it sold at Christie's Auction House last week for $4.4 million. The picture is a minimalist landscape showcasing the parallel lines of a road, the Rhine River, and the horizon. 11/15/11 6:55pm ET
fancypants
I took a similar photo the other day, but mine was called "Oops."
11/15/11 7:29pm ET
Rate:
Your Rating: 0.0 stars
Average Rating: 4.0 stars
0
See replies or post your own.
Flag this as:
Additional Comments (optional):
 
Top Kwipsters
1) Wacky Sidekick StanSilliman (+2,004.37)
2) Cable Quipster headonthetable (+1,193.48)
3) Sharp-Witted Scribe ADW (+887.62)
4) Sharp-Witted Scribe AaronDavidWard (+757.88)
5) Sitcom Superstar hambone (+713.91)
6) Hall Headliner jerrymyers1982 (+673.65)
7) Sitcom Superstar humbert (+593.05)
8) Award Show Host NaomiLeonard (+564.72)
9) Wacky Sidekick JayLeno (+550.25)
10) Vegas Icon fancypants (+543.40)
Ranked by total points earned. Details.
Free Comedy Shows
Kwipster TM & © 2013 Viral Ventures LLC. All Rights Reserved.