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headonthetable
Joined: Apr '11

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Cable Quipster
Level 12: Cable Quipster
Next Level: Wacky Sidekick
  Kwips Points Average
All Time 949 1,193.48 1.26
Year 0 0.00 0.00
Month 0 0.00 0.00
Week 0 0.00 0.00
Day 0 0.00 0.00
Note: Only kwips that have received the required qualifying ratings are reflected above. For more on scoring, click here.
headonthetable's kwips: 950
Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
Now I'll do one rap per Stan who bills himself as the Silliman, he pulls quips out of his can faster than u think he can, sometimes jokes about his age, yo' dude, props as the humor sage.
1/26/12 4:57am ET
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Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
Sooo..., who won?
1/23/12 11:26pm ET
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Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
I blame everybody else, except the chicks.
1/23/12 9:59pm ET
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Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
Thankfully the head on the table site is still up.
1/23/12 9:54pm ET
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Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
If Jessican's blatant sexual remarks aren't enough to keep this site up, I don't know what is. Worked for me.
1/23/12 9:51pm ET
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Kwipster Calls it Kwits
Kwipster
Somebody once said, "All good things must come to an end, but bad things can continue forever." Kwipster must be phenomenal then, as it will be ceasing operations on January 31st, just shy of its first birthday. Sniff. For more information, click here. And if you'd like to make one last joke, please do so at our expense below. 1/23/12 3:40pm ET
headonthetable
I said it once and I'll say it again, Napster, Friendster, Kwipster..., it seems any site that ends in "ster" is doomed.
1/23/12 8:29pm ET
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Acropolis for Rent for $2,000 a Day
Gadling
Desperate times require desperate measures. That seems to be the mantra coming out of Greece, which has announced it will begin renting some of its most well known archeological sites, starting with the Acropolis itself, for about $2,000 per day. 1/19/12 12:59pm ET
headonthetable
That must mean that they've finally cleaned out all of the shit and semen stains. You know those ancient Greeks.
1/20/12 2:53am ET
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Rick Perry Drops Out of Race for President
Politico
Texas Governor Rick Perry ended his campaign for president today and endorsed Newt Gingrich. ''I believe Newt is a conservative visionary who can transform this country,'' he said. 1/19/12 12:39pm ET
headonthetable
and I've never heard anyone explain their postion more incoherently.
1/20/12 2:50am ET
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Rick Perry Drops Out of Race for President
Politico
Texas Governor Rick Perry ended his campaign for president today and endorsed Newt Gingrich. ''I believe Newt is a conservative visionary who can transform this country,'' he said. 1/19/12 12:39pm ET
headonthetable
Isn't "conservative visionary" an oxymoron? I mean, either you are one or you're not.
1/20/12 2:41am ET
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Couple Tries to Blow Up Car With Flaming Tampons
BroBible
A Pennsylvania couple has been arrested for attempting to blow up a 2006 Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them. The couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief. 1/19/12 1:30pm ET
headonthetable
They weren't that dumb, they made sure that they used "light" days tampons so they would be sure to burn.
1/20/12 2:06am ET
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Couple Tries to Blow Up Car With Flaming Tampons
BroBible
A Pennsylvania couple has been arrested for attempting to blow up a 2006 Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them. The couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief. 1/19/12 1:30pm ET
headonthetable
Until this incident a flaming tampon just meant that you had a bad yeast infection.
1/20/12 2:03am ET
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People Using Pseudonyms Post Best Comments
VentureBeat
Online discussion board startup Disqus analyzed nearly 500,000 comments made via its platform and found that the digital denizens using fictitious names, or pseudonyms, are responsible for higher quality comments than those using their real names. 1/17/12 5:24pm ET
headonthetable
Yeah, but how do they know it's not really the same people?
1/18/12 11:15pm ET
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EA Creating Katy Perry 'Sims' Game
Billboard
Electronic Arts has announced a collaboration between Katy Perry and virtual reality computer program 'The Sims' to create a Collector's Edition game with content and exclusives featuring the pop star, including Katy Perry-themed virtual goods. 1/17/12 4:20pm ET
headonthetable
Katie says that she has always seen herself as a cartoon character and now, thanks to SIMS, a lot of guys will be seeing themselves in a cartoon character.
1/18/12 11:12pm ET
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Guy Smuggles Gun Into Jail in Rectum
The Huffington Post
Police in North Carolina believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation, a suspect managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison by concealing the weapon in his rectum. 1/17/12 2:20pm ET
headonthetable
The cops defending not finding the gun through multiple searches. They said that the man had inserted the weapon barrel first and that all they saw was the butt.
1/18/12 11:10pm ET
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EA Creating Katy Perry 'Sims' Game
Billboard
Electronic Arts has announced a collaboration between Katy Perry and virtual reality computer program 'The Sims' to create a Collector's Edition game with content and exclusives featuring the pop star, including Katy Perry-themed virtual goods. 1/17/12 4:20pm ET
headonthetable
This is cool. Katy Perry in her performing debut.
1/18/12 11:00pm ET
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Guy Smuggles Gun Into Jail in Rectum
The Huffington Post
Police in North Carolina believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation, a suspect managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison by concealing the weapon in his rectum. 1/17/12 2:20pm ET
headonthetable
Damn, what an asshole.
1/18/12 10:49pm ET
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Guy Smuggles Gun Into Jail in Rectum
The Huffington Post
Police in North Carolina believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation, a suspect managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison by concealing the weapon in his rectum. 1/17/12 2:20pm ET
headonthetable
That's pretty impressive, considering he probably only had one shot to get it up there.
1/18/12 10:49pm ET
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Big Sites Plan Blackout to Protest Piracy Bill
CNN
A handful of large websites will go dark on Wednesday to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), an anti-piracy bill that critics say will wreck the Internet as we know it. Wikipedia, Reddit, Boing Boing, and the Cheezburger network all plan to participate in the blackout. 1/17/12 1:38pm ET
headonthetable
I think I saw this on Myth Busters. They're trying to see if you can still go back, once you go black.
1/18/12 10:05pm ET
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Big Sites Plan Blackout to Protest Piracy Bill
CNN
A handful of large websites will go dark on Wednesday to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), an anti-piracy bill that critics say will wreck the Internet as we know it. Wikipedia, Reddit, Boing Boing, and the Cheezburger network all plan to participate in the blackout. 1/17/12 1:38pm ET
headonthetable
Just like voting, this is a another cause other people are handling so I don't have to. Guess I can sleep in again.
1/18/12 10:02pm ET
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Internet Addiction Changes Brain Like Drugs
BBC News
Internet addicts have brain changes similar to those hooked on drugs or alcohol, preliminary research suggests. ''Overall, our findings indicate that IAD has abnormal white matter integrity in brain regions involving emotional generation and processing, executive attention, decision making and cognitive control,'' some science guy said. 1/12/12 5:49pm ET
headonthetable
So that explains why I've been breaking into people's houses lately.
1/15/12 1:55am ET
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Top Kwipsters
1) Wacky Sidekick StanSilliman (+2,004.37)
2) Cable Quipster headonthetable (+1,193.48)
3) Sharp-Witted Scribe ADW (+887.62)
4) Sharp-Witted Scribe AaronDavidWard (+757.88)
5) Sitcom Superstar hambone (+713.91)
6) Hall Headliner jerrymyers1982 (+673.65)
7) Sitcom Superstar humbert (+593.05)
8) Award Show Host NaomiLeonard (+564.72)
9) Wacky Sidekick JayLeno (+550.25)
10) Vegas Icon fancypants (+543.40)
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