Researchers from the CDC have found that 38 million Americans, roughly a sixth of the adult population, are binge drinkers who over-indulge an average of 4.4 times a month. A binge is defined as five or more drinks in the space of two hours for men, and four or more drinks for women. Wisconsin has the highest percentage of binge drinkers, at 25.6%. 1/11/12 6:22pm ET
Damn you, ERA, see what you've done? Women now get a 20% head start to becoming binge drinking alcoholics. It's not fair.
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea's official name) re-opened to tourists this week after its annual month-long winter hiatus. It's the first time foreigners can access the country since the death of its leader Kim Jong Il last month. 1/11/12 7:34pm ET
In related news, North Korea just reported that it's labor camp population has dropped significantly in the past years.
For the first time since 1965, homicide was not one of the nation's top 15 causes of death in 2010, according to new data from the CDC. The top 15 were: heart disease, cancer, lower respiratory disease, stroke, accidents, Alzheimer's, diabetes, kidney disease, influenza and pneumonia, suicide, septicemia, liver disease, hypertension, Parkinson's, and pneumonitis. 1/11/12 6:59pm ET
Damn, another year that Susan Lucci was snubbed from taking the top spot.
Stephen Hawking, the renowned physicist whose work has shed light on the secrets of the universe, from the nature of space-time to the workings of black holes, says there is one conundrum that still baffles him: women. He says they are ''a complete mystery.'' 1/5/12 6:41pm ET
Actually, scientists have been working on this problem for a long time, and they've finally been able to prove an equation that explains women's behavior. $$$$ + 8====D = 8===D -->{} + 8===D --> (*)
Researchers at MIT have created a body suit called AGNES (Age Gain Now Empathy System) that simulates old age. The suit includes a heavy helmet, body braces, and yellow-tinged glasses that create the feeling of achey joints, limited mobility, and blurred vision. 1/5/12 3:29pm ET
This suit sounds incomplete, I think they're missing laxatives, and adult diapers.
The cast for the next season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' has been announced. It includes Teresa Giudice and Victoria Gotti (wives); Cheryl Tiegs, Patricia Velasquez, Dayana Mendoza (T&A); Clay Aiken, Dee Snider, Debbie Gibson (sound); Lisa Lampanelli, Arsenio Hall, Adam Carolla (comic relief); Aubrey O'Day, Tia Carrere (people); Lou Ferrigno, Pen Jillette (hulks); George Takei, Paul Teutul Sr., and Michael Andretti (other). 1/4/12 1:05pm ET
This season's going to be awesome, there definitely looks to be a good mixture of talent here. Hold on....I think I just had a stroke. Carry on.
Mitt Romney edged Rick Santorum by a mere eight votes in Tuesday's Iowa caucuses, a margin that amounted to a tie in the opening act of the 2012 presidential race. Ron Paul finished close behind in third place, while Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann took the bottom three slots. Perry and Bachmann are now expected to drop out. 1/4/12 11:21am ET
Michele Bachmann finally did pull out, which is something her father should have done about 56 years ago.
British scientists have found prodigious numbers of a new species of crab on the Southern Ocean floor that they have dubbed ''The Hoff'' because of its hairy chest, in honor of the often bare-chested American actor David Hasselhoff. 1/4/12 1:58pm ET
In related news, Pamela Anderson just returned from a scuba diving exhibition on the Southern Ocean floor, and her itching has miraculously cleared up.
It's once again time for a favorite Kwipster pastime -- in that we've done it once before. See if you can guess whose chest is pictured, ideally in a humorous way. Hints: the person is a rock star, just got engaged, and has a famous daughter. Click through for the answer. 1/4/12 12:06pm ET
He's definitely "Living on the Edge" of a severe hormonal imbalance.
Researchers in the UK have found that 92% of public baby-changing tables contain traces of cocaine. The study, conducted by British journalists, included facilities in shopping centers, hospitals, police stations, courts, churches, supermarkets and department stores. 12/21/11 12:57pm ET
This news is not that surprising, since as all parents know that babies are made out of cocaine.
In an email regarding the death of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, Rick Perry mistakenly referred to the despot as Kim Jong the Second. The email titled ''Gov. Rick Perry on the Death of Kim Jong II'' incorrectly referenced the dictator's name 3 separate times. 12/20/11 3:14pm ET
Rick Perry is further proof that Punk'd really is coming back on the air, and the American people are the first targets.
Despite having 20% fewer locations, Wendy's is poised to pass Burger King in U.S. sales this year, trailing only industry behemoth McDonald's and marking the first reordering of top 3 burger chains since Wendy's was founded in 1969. 12/21/11 11:30am ET
See kids, don't give into peer pressure, it really does pay to be square.
The FDA has ordered Trent Arsenault of the SF Bay area to stop giving away his sperm on his website. In the past 5 years, Arsenault has fathered 14 children with his donations, and more are on the way. Unfortunately, ''informal sperm donation'' is illegal because it violates FDA regulations on human cells and is punishable by up to a year in prison and a $100,000 fine. 12/21/11 2:15pm ET
My question to the FDA is, exactly what category does sperm fall into, Food or Drugs?
Despite having 20% fewer locations, Wendy's is poised to pass Burger King in U.S. sales this year, trailing only industry behemoth McDonald's and marking the first reordering of top 3 burger chains since Wendy's was founded in 1969. 12/21/11 11:30am ET
When asked for a statement, Burger King just said, don't believe anything that bitch Wendy says.
Researchers in the UK have found that 92% of public baby-changing tables contain traces of cocaine. The study, conducted by British journalists, included facilities in shopping centers, hospitals, police stations, courts, churches, supermarkets and department stores. 12/21/11 12:57pm ET
No wonder my baby keeps shitting his diaper in public, he just wants to get his cocaine fix when I change him.
The FDA has ordered Trent Arsenault of the SF Bay area to stop giving away his sperm on his website. In the past 5 years, Arsenault has fathered 14 children with his donations, and more are on the way. Unfortunately, ''informal sperm donation'' is illegal because it violates FDA regulations on human cells and is punishable by up to a year in prison and a $100,000 fine. 12/21/11 2:15pm ET
Now I'm worried, I've been informally donating my sperm to the sewer people for 20 years.
New research from NM Incite reveals that the most common reasons Facebook users decide to defriend someone are offensive comments, not knowing the person well, trying to sell them something, depressing or political posts, and a lack of interaction. 12/20/11 4:26pm ET
The most common reasons for "friending" someone on Facebook are spying on their daily activities, trying to get laid, making yourself feel more popular, and trying to get laid.
NBC has hired Howard Stern as the new judge of the summer competition series 'America's Got Talent'. The popular radio shock-jock will critique the eclectic talent show, replacing Piers Morgan, and production of the show will move to New York City. 12/15/11 1:15pm ET
To all the ladies out there who thought their talent of swallowing a whole banana wasn't worth anything, now's your chance.
12/17/11 5:48pm ET
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According to the Pantone Color Institute, Tangerine Tango, an electric orange red, is the color of 2012, and Shine's Sarah Bernard is extremely excited about the news. It's warm, uplifting, and energizing, and it happens to look great with almost every skin tone. 12/8/11 5:36pm ET
Here's an idea, let's all chip in to buy each member of The Jersey Shore a Tangerine Tango turtleneck, then set them up on the highway to redirect traffic.
According to the Pantone Color Institute, Tangerine Tango, an electric orange red, is the color of 2012, and Shine's Sarah Bernard is extremely excited about the news. It's warm, uplifting, and energizing, and it happens to look great with almost every skin tone. 12/8/11 5:36pm ET
I don't believe it, it's such a coincidence. This is exactly the color of my I don't give a shit.
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